Are self-affirmations only for high self-esteem people?

A recent article in Psychological Science (March, 2009) by Dr. Joan Wood and her colleagues from University of Waterloo has stirred up quite a bit of discussion about the value of self-affirmations. People started questioning if we’ve been all wrong in repeating positive statements to ourselves or believing in positive psychology. The findings of the study suggest that self-affirmations do work for high self-esteem people (who are already doing quiet well) and they actually backfire among low self-esteem people (who are believed to need the benefits more) by leading to negative mood.

So, shall we stop relying on self-affirmations on our journeys to be at our best? Well, I think that would be throwing the baby out with the bath water! I think there is great value in discussing if the self-affirmations work – this is a good time to weed out false assumptions and unrealistic expectations about how and when they work.

First of all, the skeptics are right about the value in repeating affirmations such as “I am great”,“ I am successful in whatever I do” or “Life is a joy filled with delightful surprises” without even the slightest reality check! My own research has challenged the assumption of “having overly positive self-views is good for you”. Let’s do our reality check about the value of self-affirmations, shall we?

In social psychology literature there are quiet a few studies that would help us make sense of the self-affirmation business and the confusion around it. Dr. Bill Swann and his colleagues have published numerous articles about a need called “self-verification” – the need to collect evidence or feedback to validate the self-perceptions we have. In one study published in 1981 they pitted self-verification against self-enhancement: Do people prefer validating who they are or do they prefer to receive positive feedback even if it conflicts with their self-perceptions?

Their findings showed that when it comes to choosing between feedback that was consistent with people’s self-perceptions (self-verification) versus enhancing feedback that conflicted with self-perceptions, people preferred the former. In other words, positive feedback for a person who didn’t have positive self-perceptions was not readily acceptable, and he would rather take the verifying not-so-positive feedback. Of course the process was more straightforward for high self-esteem people - because positive feedback was in line with their already positive self-perceptions it further reinforced their self-perceptions. Based on these findings we really shouldn’t be surprised about the recent findings on self-affirmation – that, it works better for high self-esteem people than their low self-esteem counterparts.

Similar set of results were reported by University of California researchers: self-affirmation helps high self-esteem people cope with stress by reducing psychological stress responses, while it actually exacerbates responses among low self-esteem people (Creswell et al, 2005; although it helped both groups by leading to a decrease in their physiological stress responses). But no need to be discouraged – let me explain why…

Luckily, giving people positive feedback that conflicts with what they “know” about themselves (which is akin to using self-affirmations) is not the only way to affirm the self. There is well-established evidence in social psychology that shows the benefits of an albeit a slightly different way of affirming the self. This form of self-affirmation involves thinking or writing about your core (personal and/or cultural) values and things you are competent at; and doing things, even small ones, in line with your values. Note that, here the affirmations are not unrealistic or overly positive statements. They are also not global statements such as “I am good enough” or “I am lovable”. They are about specific values (e.g., family, legacy, fairness) or competencies (e.g., being a supportive team member, a good tennis player).

These self-affirmations have been shown to help people to restore their self-image especially following a blow to their self-esteem. In other words, especially after a failure or rejection, affirming the self this way helps you bounce back quickly. They work especially well if affirmations are done in an unrelated domain. In other words, when you receive negative feedback at work, use self-affirmations about your relationships.

A recent study on further benefits of self-affirmation (Schmeichel & Vohs, 2009) showed its role in replenishing self-control, which is a limited resource that gets depleted after tasks that require will power. Consider these situations that require self-control and will-power: getting yourself out of a negative mood; managing to generate positive thoughts following negative events; ability to manage emotions; ability to motivate yourself; delaying short-term gratification for future benefits. For sure you would want to have enough resources to be successful in accomplishing them – and self-affirmation is a tool you wouldn’t want to discard, regardless of your level of self-esteem.

A very important point to consider is what outcome we have in mind when we ask the question “Does self-affirmation work?” We have to ask more specific questions: Does it work in

• feeling better about yourself? (Only for high self-esteem people, Wood et al.)
• boosting your mood? (No for moods we are aware of; yes for unconscious moods which further decrease ruminative thoughts, Koole et al.)
• strengthening the will power? (Yes, Schmeical & Vohs)
• reducing perceptions of stress? (Only for high self-esteem people, Creswell et al.)
• reducing physiological stress responses (Yes, Creswell et al.)

Then, the take home message would be to continue using self-affirmations, but maybe in a different way/form that you were using.

• Focus on your positive aspects (and contrary to popular belief, low self-esteem people also believe they do have some positive aspects) and affirm them by writing about them.
• Reflect on your core personal values and/or the values of your culture, which form your worldview. Again, either write about these values, or take some action - small or big - to validate those values.

Warning: Research also suggests that self-affirmations are not effective when one tries too hard and is fully aware of using them to increase self-worth. So try to find more subtle ways of affirming the self.

Run beyond the boundaries: Changing the self-limiting beliefs

Last time I suggested that you reflect on the self-limiting beliefs (SLBs) if you would like to make better use of your potential to reach your ideal-self and your dreams. If you have a list of these SLBs that have been blocking you in getting where you would like to be, here are the next steps.

Step 1: Figure out the hidden benefits of the SLBs.
Last time I mentioned that these beliefs have been there because they serve some purpose – so what are the hidden benefits they’ve been providing you with? In other words what are the advantages of holding each of the SLBs? For example, if the SLB is “I am not confident enough”, some of the hidden benefits might be, you don’t take action that might carry the risk of failure or rejection – so you don’t need to cope with failure and rejection, pretty big benefit!
Once you have the benefits listed, also make a list of the costs of holding those beliefs. This should be easier since it was probably part of discovering the SLBs themselves.

Step 2: Flip the belief and look for evidence to support the new version.
Flip it: “I am confident”; evidence: “I did present the product idea to my boss this morning”; “I did hold my ground in answering questions”; “I did take action even though I felt some anxiety” etc… This is a great way of challenging the SLBs.

Step 3: Pick one!
Ask yourself which belief you want to stick with (i.e., “I am not confident” or “I am confident”) which one do you like better, which one do you want: the SLB or the opposite?

Step 4: Use confirmation bias
Consciously set the confirmation bias into action – be the best lawyer you could be to look for evidence in support of this belief. While at it, make sure to overlook conflicting information along the way. This might feel unnatural at first but when you think about it, it is actually something we are experts at (hint: Remember all the times you previously failed to notice how you were being confident?)! But very important point is to be consistent and intentional in doing this. Beliefs take time to change, therefore it is crucial to stick with process and keep a track of the benefits you’re getting from holding that belief (journaling might be a good idea).


Supports & tips along the way...

1. One thing that would support you along the way would be using self-affirmation. Numerous studies (see references) have shown that reflecting upon positive aspects of oneself replenishes resources to exert self-control. And believe me, replacing SLBs with new beliefs requires quitea bit of self-control! Self-affirmations could be thinking or writing about your core values and things you are competent at, or they could be doing things, even small ones, in line with your values.

2. In line with the above point, because self-control is a limited resource don’t try to attempt changing too many beliefs at a time (more on this in a later post).

3. Similar to any task that requires effort, one of your best bets would be to rely on social support. Share your commitment in changing your SLBs with someone whom you know will support you. This helps in three ways. First, it means more accountability to change the beliefs; secondly, another person can help you to do your reality check by being more objective; and lastly, their positive feedback will have similar benefits as self-affirmation.

Enjoy running beyond those self-imposed boundaries and opening up more possibilities for yourself!


References
Schmeichel, Brandon J.; Vohs, Kathleen (2009). Self-affirmation and self-control: Affirming core values counteracts ego depletion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Vol 96(4), 770-782.

Steele, C. M. (1988). The psychology of self-affirmation: Sustaining the integrity of the self. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 21, pp. 261-302). New York: Academic Press.

Are you setting yourself up?

“Rabbits have a powerful notion of their territory. They stay inside the self-proclaimed boundaries no matter what. Even if a coyote chases them to the brink of their known land, and escape is in sight, they will turn around and run straight into the jaws of the predator rather than risk the new ground.”

This was shared in a blog post I read a few days ago. I don’t know anything about rabbits, or if they actually do behave like that but I thought this provides a powerful image about the topic I would like to write about – self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs (SLBs) constitute a core area in my coaching work. Most of the time people complain about external obstacles ranging from circumstances such as workload, to other people such as competitive colleagues . But really, the biggest obstacle that keep them from where or who they want to be are these beliefs they hold on to – consciously or more dangerously, unconsciously.

• I am not creative/extraverted/ambitious enough.
• I am not confident enough.
• I don’t have the necessary skills/experience.
• I can’t handle it.
• I must be perfect.
• I should make everyone happy.
• No one wants to get to know me.

Sound familiar? It is not that we are acutely or consistently thinking or aware of these beliefs, YET they do continue limiting us.

The workings of our minds rely on two types of processing. Controlled processing is the thinking that we are conscious and aware of, that takes up our brain energy and resources. Automatic processing, on the other hand, is the type of thinking that continues running at the background, effortlessly and outside our awareness. To make it more concrete, imagine you are having a meeting with your boss. Formulating an argument as to why you should use a particular strategy involves controlled processing; reading her body language and other nonverbal cues to assess if she is convinced by your argument as you speak are mostly handled through automatic processing. Recent research shows much of our processing fall under the second category, and of course this has powerful implications for our thinking, emotions, decision-making, and behaviors (more on this on another post).

What is important in this context is that many SLBs do operate at the automatic level – they almost act as lenses through which you perceive and evaluate the world and yourself. Inevitably, they influence your goal setting, motivation, and behaviors even when you are not aware of them. One of the best things you could do for yourself is to shine the light of awareness on the SLBs to bring them to your consciousness so you can do something about them. That means you take a step to become aware of the territory you’ve trapped yourself into - unless you would like to avoid the consequences, of course. The consequences, though not as terrible as the one for the rabbits, might include missing out on

• coming close to your ideal self
• taking a shot at your dream job
• meeting some amazing people
• moving forward in your career
• living a fulfilling life

And if you ask me, they’re worth serious consideration. Yet, I bet there will be some serious resistance and a lot of rationalization that will make the discovery challenging, especially because these SLBs do serve some purpose. Their “hidden benefits” include protecting you (and your self-esteem) from rejection, failure, responsibility, or hard-work. No wonder they’ve become automatic over the years! A few ways to “uncover” the SLBs:

• Take a look at you ideal self and ask “What beliefs or stories I’ve been telling myself have been keeping me at a distance from my ideal self?”.
• Make a list of things you really really want(ed) to do; the goals you set for yourself but have been ignoring or neglecting. Do some thinking on why you haven’t been working towards them.
• Reflect on those almost “outrageous” dreams you want to realize – so “out-there” that you didn’t even dare to include them under your ideal self (e.g., running a marathon, setting up your own business). They are great in mining the most powerful SLBs.

Once you’ve done that, you might ask “Now, what?” First of all, acknowledge your accomplishment: awareness is one of the most important steps of tackling SLBs - now you know what your self-proclaimed boundaries are. Next time, some tips & tools to start working on them…

Why do some decisions feel better than others - that is, independent of the outcome?

In an earlier post I wrote about different ways/orientations to set goals and regulate behavior – prevention and promotion focus: First one referring to a focus on absence of negatives, and the latter one to achieving positive things. If you reflected on the questions at the end of that post or completed the Regulatory Focus Questionnaire, you have an idea which one is more dominant for you.

I had also mentioned the strategies to reach these goals. One can either pick a means that will maximize possibilities – an eager strategy; or she can pick one that will minimize potential mistakes – a vigilant strategy.

So far it’s a recap of an earlier post. Here’s what’s new: the fit between the regulatory focus (prevention vs. promotion) and the strategy you use to reach your goals (vigilant vs. eager). Recent research shows that the fit between these two factors has important consequences for motivation, decision-making and the value we get from our decisions.

First, the fit between regulatory focus/orientation and the means to reach the goals influences the motivation. A person with a prevention focus has a stronger motivation to pursue a goal when using a vigilant strategy rather than an eager strategy. For example, a sales manager with a prevention focus will have higher motivation when using a strategy that emphasizes watching out for costs, rather than looking out for profits. If you’re leading a team of people with diverse regulatory orientations that would mean you’re better off to frame goals accordingly, and be flexible in suggesting a mix of vigilant and eager strategies that would map onto both prevention and promotion orientations.

Secondly, when the fit between orientation and strategy is high people feel more alert both when making decisions and after making a decision. They also evaluate their decisions more positively. These two consequences combined could explain why a particular decision can be more satisfying for some than for others independent of the outcome of the decision– both across different people (e.g. in a team) and for the same person across different decisions.

Finally, the fit also has an impact on the value people assign to outcomes. For example, people with prevention or promotion orientations assign a higher monetary value to an object that they have chosen by using the compatible strategy – vigilant or eager, respectively. What does that mean? Your perception of how valuable something increases when your decision-making reflects the fit – you also become more likely to pay a higher amount for it.

These findings have important implications for the enjoyment of goal pursuit. The higher the fit the more satisfaction you’ll get from pursuing your goals. This also means you play an active role in the value you get from an object or a service through your regulatory focus and the strategy you choose to make a decision. You can increase the enjoyment you get from goal pursuit by being aware of your regulatory orientation and by being mindful in choosing a compatible strategy to maximize the fit between the two.

Feeling good about your decision and the outcome of your decision is under your control. The better you know yourself the better you can regulate your behavior and the better you feel! Now, how good is that?